Morning of May

This is a song that was inspired by very strong feelings I've had, but was also heavily influenced by a couple of Eels songs. The Eels songs were "If You See Natalie" and "I'm Going to Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart." But it was really by happenstance, because those two songs were written by someone else, but they could have easily been written by me. The feelings of pain from guilt, regret, remorse, and shame are coming from the fallout of a friendship/love interest I had with a girl named Natalie. I met her about a year ago and we had great chemistry and had as much in common as you could imagine without it being totally weird. Even though, it still was weird a little. Anyway, what would happen was we had a really bad date, and it's a long story, but it was brought on by all these misunderstandings and misinterpretations, and it just subverted into a full blown fallout when I was unable to formally apologize and explain myself for what I'd done. So for what seems like forever we've not spoken, and for a while I just wrote it off as another missed opportunity. These things happen with girls, I resigned to myself. But as time's gone on and I've met other girls, I always go back to Natalie and wish things were different, cuz she was so perfect and better than the rest of the girls out there...atleast for me. And I listen to songs she'd given me in mix cds, songs that have become my favorites, and it brings it all back, and it makes me really quite sad that we're apart. So I wanted to express my feelings, which have really weighed on me as of late. I wanted to make it more visual, and use more imagery, but I found myself stuck a lot of the time, and I had to resort to just saying exactly what I was feeling at the time I wrote it. So it isn't very artsy or poetic, but it's sincere. And that's all I care about.